Friday, October 12, 2012

weights hard to loose. boys are stupid. & college life is great

I don't think i've ever been more thankful for something than leaving for college, its probably so far easy to tell that its about to be the best memories of my life.

Ive lost 12 pounds, working hard..better than before. got to keep going, not enough yet especially with this time period.

GOAL: more fruits, i need to hit up the farmers market next week when its on campus. thank god for my crazy hippy school.

HAD PLAY DAY YESTERDAY! ya my college spends money on like 12 big blow up jump houses..pretty freaking awesome.

HMMM. theres a crazy bitch that lives on my floor...........pretty sure she's got with every guy on the floor and she's now headed up stairs.. cough slut cough

ROBERT!!!!! k, so my neighbor is beyond awesome, i sorta kinda live in his room lol. he'll leave and i won't have class and hell come back and I'm still there watching all his movies on his computer lol. got to love crazy chill people ! Oh, an were definitely road trippin to CALI for spring break. awww yeuuuh

Appplied to two jobs today. I'm kinda nervous for being able to balance all these things, but its going to happen. can't wait.

SORRY FOR THE BOING POST GUYS> but spoke my mind on MY blog. much love<3 p="p">

Monday, October 1, 2012

those nights


i've found that finding a way to relate exercise to something like happiness or relaxation is something that i can do, it makes it all so much easier!!

IM SORRY I HAVEN'T POSTED IN AWHILE GUYS! I'm finally settled into college and been working really hard, i do about 40 hours a week in homework and class time! but tonite i thought i needed to give a little time to you guys.

i'm sitting here looking at pictures of all the models in the fall wear and i think i can totally wear that and i can pull it off, but shoot it would look so much better if i lost a few pounds.

I started crying tonite because it really is so hard to loose weight, i texted me auntie who a big figure in my life and she said "first thing is you have to remember that you didn't put it all on at one so u won't take it off overnight either" than i thought to myself, wow, i have someone that reads about my posts and gives me encouragement, i have friends willing to exercise with me, a school my college that offers all organic foods and the strength and excitement to do it. what the hell am i waiting for.

Also i'll tell you guys coming on here and seeing comments from people and knowing that people are watching and waiting to see this happen it gives me so much strength and courage to keep doing this!! anybody out there doing it with me keep it up!!!! I'm gonna get back track with my blogging and try to every night to keep ya'll up date.
The link above is someone who is an inspiration right now in my life, she's another blogger or 'tumblr' and i've been reading about her diet loss and she's lost so many pounds, i can't wait to get there!
I've found that in order to do anything you have to love yourself and tell yourself that its for you not anybody else, KEEP GOING YOU CAN DO IT!!! & thats for my homework too, and that essay that i'm currently procrastinating.

Hope all is well, linsey :) 

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Diet update: My diet is doing well & so am I, i've been eating really well & have not felt the need to cheat..yet besides maybe bigger proportions here & there. But i'm feeling better already even tho it may not show yet. Hard work takes time!


Moved into my dorm room yesterday for college! I'm not sure how i feel about it, its a lot of mixed emotions that I didn't think i'd have so much of.

And on another note this college is very different with a very different atmosphere than other campuses i've been too which is both good and bad. I'll admit i miss my family more so my MOM lol, but got to be on my own sometime. But i am having the idea of moving to a school closer to home, but i'm not too sure about that. Can't judge yet, i just started!!

Had fun last night tho, apparently this school has a lot of parties in the woods lol, its very different.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

one year.

Fat, curves, skinny, obese, sexy, beautiful.
Every single word listed above I have heard used by and referrred to by and to somebody. But what really honestly in my own personal opinion counts if if YOUR happy.

THE PLAN: Today is Wednesday September 12, 2012.
I am giving myself one year to get the body that makes me feel health, sexy & how I want it to be.
I'm not doing this for anybody but myself, to make me happy, feel healthy & what I think is considered looking 'sexy'
I leave for college on Saturday morning & thats one things that really pushes me to take this plan and turn it into and action, making it happen no matter what it takes. New environment, new friends, new me.
I plan to eat healthy and really say no to my weakness of ice creams and sweets & junk foods & just having some fruit or whatever else healthy is around.
Right now, i weigh 250 pounds. NOT HEALTHY FOR THE AGE OF 18.
My goal weight is: 160 pounds (average for my height and body structure don't think i'm just being lazy with that ten)

My body today as i start my new way of life.
September 12, 2012

(I'm sorry if my picture above is not something you want to see, but it is infact my body & putting it up there for the proof and being proud of how i am going to change is what i want to do. Feel free to please follow me through this fight)

In todays society the images that are potrayed around us that are considered, beautful, healthy, sexy girls & what the guys want saddens me because it makes it harder on us girls that don't have the fast metabolism or are all that naturally athletic. But that just means somewhere in our mind we have a will thats makes us strong too & thats where i'm going to overcome the one thing that crosses my mind every single day & that is having the body of my personal dreams. I don't want to look anything like the skinny bitches on the cover of the magazines you see at the store, (please don't think i have any hate towards those girls that just not my personal image of  'sexy', but to them its there happy and healthy body) or none the lesss I don't want to look like anybody because, I am me. So when i've come to a body that i feel happy, sexy & healthy as well as my doctors saying i'm healthy, than the goal for the rest of my life will be mainting that.

The reason for blogging this, putting it out there for just anybody to read & see what i'm going  through is because once this is posted, this gets real. I feel the need to prove to anybody and everybody reading this as well as my family members that I can get fit. This is just the little push to help, i'll get relief, probably bitch to you guys about wanting that ice cream cone or piece of pizza so get ready for it BUT in the end its all going to be worth it cuz i WILL Be buying my self a pair or Miss me jeans which i've always wanted to fit in but this ass is too big right now.

I hope that I am able to inspire someone or some of you to work on your bodies to or maintain the body you have.

I'm not only doing this to look better to my own eyes, but I also have a family history that have lots of weight problems on both my mother and fathers side & I also have dietbetes which runs in our family & i can tell you thats my fear and the last thing that i want to get. So for my health, living longer, having kids & just the little things like hiking which is always easier with a little less booty i'm gonna loose weight.

September 15 2013, one year from today! I will be celebrating the one thing that i overcame that i always wanted to do.

The fun of this, i do get to pick out some new running/ workout shoes. NIKE FREES. the only thing i'll ever wear. Check em' out :)

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Growing uppp.

ADULT? Sure don't feel like it, but even more loving it. 

18. eighteen. adult. legal. reality. life. bills. money. experience. college. dreams. goals. new. safety. young. living. freedom. 

^ All the things that are crossing my mind as my life just get more and more real that i'm not just under the wing of my parents
Its what i want, its what I do
What i make it
where I take it
the people that I want to keep around
how i feel, IS HOW I FEEL. 
My word is just as equal as yours
I'm learning & slowly catching on, but..
"you first must be young and stupid to be old & wise" 
And thats the most true statement I have ever heard at this level in my life. 

This week i made mint chocolate chip cookies,
YUM! I'll put the recipe below, EVERYONE LOVED THEM

If i could give advice to people around the age of freshman or so
even tho they probably wouldn't take it to heart as i'd wish
but i'd say that whole comment that
'mama is always right'
Listen to her, my mom continues to prove me wrong numerous times
i may be a little dumbfounded but jeez some things i wish i would have listened
from what you should have for dinner.
( have i ever mentioned my moms my best friend, hero, mom & role model

Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies
1 Pouch of Betty Crocker sugar cookie mix
1/2 cup of butter or margarine softened 
1/2 to a 1/2 teaspoon of mint extract 
8 drops of green food coloring 
1 egg
1 cup creme de menthe baking chips 
(we could not find them so we just used creme de menthe 
drink mix and they came out just fine but how
 ever you'd like to make them) 
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chunks 

-heat the over to 350 degree F 
-In a large bowl stir the cookie mix, butter, mint extract, food coloring and the egg
until soft dough forms, than stir in the chocolate & creme de menthe chips 
-Use a small spoon to drop dough on a cookie sheet about 2 inches apart (i covered
my cookie sheet with parchment paper, makes it easier to clean up)
-bake about 8-10 mins, check them at 8 minutes just to be sure than usually give them the other 2 minutes. 
ENJOY, there soooooo good EVERYONE loved them. 

Best friend / sister

Her birthday was on Wednesday the 29th but she is going to school on the other side of the state, about a 6 hour drive & i made that drive to surprise her at midnight on her birthday! 
She was beyond ecstatic, infact didn't even believe me the first couple minutes when told her i was almost there. 
I'm definitely the type of person that goes to the ends of the earth for a good friend
but there worth it, usually. 
We've been through everything & we've learned that we have so many stories people love to just sit down with us and say story time, well all the friends she made in college that i got to meet at least. its pretty funny actually :) 

A little taste of WASHINGTON
The picture above was taken at Lake crescent which is when your headed up north. Very far north towards the town of Forks
Some of you may know that town because it was where the film twilight was made

Last weekend I headed down to my close friend Allys house just to get away and have a girls night, as soon as i got there she wanted an adventure and decided were going to forks
Well what the hell, were young so we got in my little truck and head out on our 4 hour drive 

We got on a ferry
crossed a bridge & drove in the pitch black for a few hours
but we finally arrived at around 3 am
this trip was last minute
No plans, no where to sleep
sooooo hello bed of my truck, rest area & a shit ton of blankets
It was actually soooo comfortable

When we woke up we found that about 4 other cars around us had people sleeping in them
that was sort of a relief
but i loved how random, out of nowhere and just a memory it was

SO LET ME GUESS, most of your right now are thinking ya the pictures
pretty bla bla but washington is always rainy and cold and stuff
but lately the weather has been in the 70s and even when its cool its just a gorgeous area filled with the trees, evergreen, lakes, ocean, mountains 
it basically has it all & me being from the south i absolutely love some heat 
but being gone all summer to Texas and Virginia it was soooo nice to see mountains and green again
...wait till you see my college when i move in

Me and my friend with another friends puppy, she has about six of them

Another post from me, sorry i'm not daily, but hey i'm young and got a life
take care god bless & let your life flow and take what it throws at you & be smart :)


Saturday, August 25, 2012


I've definately gone M.I.A the past couple weeks, whats up with me huh?!
Well I really started missing this whole blog this as soon as people started getting under my skin again
& my confidence level has definately sky rocketed, cuz damn have I have a big mouth
just being blunt left & right. But I do love a person that's real with me, so why not throw it right back.

Learnin to play guitar ! 

 I went bra shopping yesterday, AH! Victoria secret you do wonders, these girls are feeling happy
in their new 'memory foam' padded bras. WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT?! these boobies are more pampered than me (thats a lie, i'm spoiled, but oh so thankful). Guess that'll pay back when i'm old and NOT saggy. 

Homemade pico de gallo YUM 

I need to point out that everybody is sensitive about different things & what doesn't hurt YOUR feelings might HURT theirs, so please think twice before you say shit or your gonna get called out, recent personal experience. & i'll say quite proudly that i'm totally happy with how i handled that because that person was put right in their place, but i handled it as maturely as possible 

My kitty Chico 

OHHH, elders that surround me. I love ya'll to death & i respect and listen to everything you say & i know its all for the best ..but shoot i'm 18 now, NOT 10! so i don't need to be talked to like I am. I might have my immaturity here & there but i really do know what i want & what makes me happy. I just don't always have the ways to show it. 
One more thing, i'm not just gonna sit back anymore and let your opinion override mine anymore because mines just as equal.

"Never let your prayin knees get lazy & love like crazy"

I'm pretty sure that i'm the only person left in my small town that hasn't gone off to college yet
countin down the days & i begin my new life. aint that crazy? 
God definately has me under his wing because i've been thrown an opportunity as a tutor at a high school near my college already, i've found multiple jobs that i'm also looking into. got my college schedule..
& i'm about to show everybody around me what i'm made of! Give me seven years (or so) and this girl here will be a hard workin lawyer with a new Louis Vuitton heehehe (thanks uncle jay, i'll never let that one down) 

Meet my best friend, were pretty much inseparable. We've had our ups & down, shits and giggles and enough memories that it'd be bigger than the bible LOL. 
Shes the only friend thats ever stuck around and really got on that personal level with me. Were not even friends anymore, were SISTERS. But this is our first year being split & were really givin the world hell & taking out paths into the big kid world & we'll be right back home here in small town USA next summer causin trouble with our whole senior class. Do work up there bud, love you :)

TIP: I lost and earring in my bathroom the other day and theres no way that little shit just disappeared. Put a nylon or something over the hose of your vacuum and you'll find it stuck to the end. IT WORKS :) thank goodness. 

Take care all & hope you keep reading even those these next few weeks will be busy i'm going to try harder on my posts :) god bless 

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Sweet summer time? More like sweet family time.

This year i have probably taken one of the biggest steps in family, friends, maturity and growing that is obvious even to my own mindset. I feel like i've grown a foot in the person that i truley am & i've got to do things this summer that really helped me find myself. (sounds cheezy right, well shit it happened, if its happened to you i'm sure you'll understand.) I just graduated from highschool as i've mentions a few times in my previous blog and a majority of my friends and peers at school took a little vacation away from town but most came back for one last hoorah and go round with some partying. I on the other hand took a whole new take on this for my mind, soul and family. I decided to take off for about 45 days starting out in Virginia where I was born and where my father lives with my step mom & three awesome brothers. Before I left on this trip my step dad & i sort of had a heart to heart talk or moment an what stuck out from it was one thing he said "your going to be gone most the summer & when you get back your going to be different, i won't but you will." I remember sitting on the couch thinking thats bullshit i'll still be me, well what can i say my parents are always there to prove me wrong IVE CHANGED. If anything this trip has sort of been a life changing experience for me. As i look back in time i'll begin to tell you that when i was seven years old my parents split up which left me somewhat confused and not sure as to what was going on not to add me being so young also. Ever since than I have lived with my mom on the west coast which has become my home basically. My MOM on the other hand well i can't even begin to explain the person she is to me, my best friend, hero, role model & just in all the only person that i completely and fully look up too. Whereas my dad on the other hand our friendship has been at a distance in a father role, in a friend role and in a as a father figure to me, but that doesn't take away at all the love that i do have for him because he is infact my father.  But, i can say a man that has come into my life an took it upon him to really change my life for nothing but the better because he was simply a good person and really cared. That man is my step father & i don't know what my mother or i did that allowed this somewhat of an angel to be sent to us BUT THANK YOU, i can never say that enough. He's taken it upon himself to give me and my mom a life that i can not be more than thankful for no matter how much of an attitude i spit to them somedays. But i truly am a spoil royal pain in the ass. but they sure do love me to the end of the world. He has pushed me through schooling which i didn't always put my all into, it was a constant fight for me with my struggles in math i hated sitting down to do the homework but they sure did make me, & hell that was a fight. I kinda slid through on my classes a lot, until the end of my junior year when it was like everything was real, COLLEGE is coming, CHANGE is coming and real life is about to hit me. He constantly encouraged me to do great and be the best i can be & thats when it was time to change and prove to them something. I turned myself completely around while kids were doing the senioritis stuff skipping, sleeping in, slacking to no end i was BUSTING MY ASSS & well while some of my close friends got called in for too much skipping saying that if they didn't stop they would not be graduating my ass ended my high school experience with a 3.8 the highest GPA i have ever accumlated and on top of that I GRADUATED not something i really saw ever coming but i did know i would accomplish. & thats where this whole trip started & back to where my biological dad comes in. Living with my mom and step dad and seeing that side of the family i really did never get exposed to my dads side of the family & what the hell did i know that this summer i would truly be finding where i come from. Where the strong outspoken mindset is grasped from & why i'm becoming the WOMAN (wow, i'm becoming a woman) i am today. I've got to see that you can try as hard as you can, put in all the time and effort with some of the people you lvoe but they aren't always going to show the love back in the way that you want. & that right there is my father, he really is a kind man, very giving, a BIG heart & definately the man that i have so man like qualities considering well he is my father. But our relationship isn't always gum drops and rainbows, but we do really butt heads & I can't tell you how much i've always wanted to have be a daddys girl & grow up with a relationship so strong with him but you can't always have everything you want, but shit we only live once i won't give up even tho my rope is only so long. (Thanks step dad for all you do just to have that one on one relationship with me) I've never really thought of it like this but from what happened THAN, than as in when you and mom got divorced i think i still hold some anger an hurt built up in my heart because sometimes i lash out at you with anger that i don't know where it comes from even though a big mouth and stubborness really does run in our family. When i look around at my friends and their familys there parents are all together, they have a mom & DAD in the same house they get to make memories as a family & flying across the country isn't something that it just accostomed to them it talking with dad in the living room or running upstairs to hangout with their mom. I've always envied that & wondered what it would be like to have a life like that but than i think to myself NONONO look how strong i am today, look at the opportunities that god has given me & look at the step dad that i got out of the whole deal. SHIT IM SPOILED AND SUCH A LUCKY CHILD.Me and my biological dad butt heads on some things that are really things that you look back and think, why the hell did we just fight. But i tell myself atleast hes made the effort at keeping me in his life and being in mine. Atleast we have a friendship that somes kids don't even get with either of their parents. Another thing that really always kills me is distance, when the hell are they going to invent teleporters or some shit, forget all these 3D tv's and stuff i want to see my distant family right when i want to see them not spend 1000 dollars on a ticket or well that someone else buys me just so i van fly to see them for a few days when i could teleport back and fourt every other day getting more time with my loves. But guess that time hasn't come yet, THATS why i'm strong (oh yeah). An with distance comes the fact atht i don't always get to be around my brothers that are at the ages of  17, 7 & 6. And well for all them its a crucial age, i'm missing everything their experiencing, all the memories their making, how much their growing, watching my younger brothers play in football or get that goal in their soccer game and just seeing how awesome and much ass they really do kick lol, as much as it hurts me not being there for them i also see how much it would break my moms heart if i left her as me being her only child! I'm her everything i know it and its easy to seee & i'm glad ive see it young so i dno't take for granted any of the time that i really get with her but its so so so precious. ( i should probably call and remind her of that after this post, but right now i'm on a role). As i'll take a second to admit and sound cocky i have a huge heart just like the rest of the people in my family no matter how many differences we have. I will go to the ends of the world for a good friend, i will be there for you to the end, you can hurt me once and chances are very high that your going to get another chance, my rope with people doesn't burn easily or quickly enough and sometimes thats what hurts me. & thats why i've found that putting too much constant time into friends that don't stick around is not something i need to focus on because i'm about to make a ton of those in college, well hopefully not a ton but just a few strong ones! So many people overlook the friendship that i have here to offer them and they take it for granted and move on quickly but i'd probably be the girl that you could call in the middle of a crisis and id be there in a heartbeat and hard enough to say, i think i need to stop that cuz i can't do everything i'm not spiderman (which by the way i just saw in theaters and it was flippin sweet) and i can't save all my friends little worlds an bullshit problems. BASICALLY FAMILY IS EVERYTHING. As i get ready to leave Virginia i got sad because most likely its going to be a year before i see my brothers again they'll be another year older, another foot taller, and a little bit smarter, funnier, crazier and well anything! But i have to go cuz i got my own life thats begining to start and take on a new role!! (its pretty awesome i must say, cuz its only what i make it). I arrived in big ole Texas to see my oatmeal (hey a kid can't pronouse aunt mel when shes young, don't hate) and uncle jay who i haven't seen in a few years & i was quickly welcomed into my loving aunts arms who we both were so happy to see one another and it was an automatic comfort like i had just seen them yesterday & quickly memories from my past rushed right back. As the next day came my aunt & i we were the first to wake up, stinky boys haha sleeping in, not to say that i don't love a good past noon sleep in! lol. But while they are getting rest me and my aunt were able to sit, talk for a good i'd say couple hours about anything, everything and nothing & it was quickly reazlied by me that i'm not a lost soul out on the west coast with personality traits like nobody in my family but quite frankily a tiny spitting image of my crazy aunt & the good crazy i must add. In a way i wanted to cry (shit am i going to right now) but because i know where my outgoing, outspoke, strong, crative and will comes from i'm like her and it was infact really good to know that the side of my family through my dad whom i didn't always have the best relationship with well i do have traits with them & they really are infact MY FAMILY! all mine, i coulnd't be more thankful (let me say that 2305924986340 more times) AND MORE. As i look at my little cousins I see my younger cousin such and smart and insightful dude and only 11 years old WOW, 11 i'm having a conversationg about egype and the apocolypse and how there definately more hidden tombs and someday hes going to find them, shit maybe i'm really related to a famous future to be discoverer or something! But than i look back and myself and see my drive, motivation, love for the idea of politics, current problems history and all that and think wow me and my 11 year old cousin have something in common but on different level and diffent ideas of what and who we will be. Than i look at my older cousin well older than his brother, 15 and i see and funny, smart, caring, happy, outgoing and think wow thats me too & somewhat like my dad with a very stubborn personality and big attitude. But i see that in myself too attitude, stubborness, big mouth, but smart, funny, outgoing, talkative, caring loving and whatever else. Wow i'm connected to these cousins a hell of a lot more than i thought i was. And finally i look at my aunt and uncle as a married couple & see how happy, crazy & funny of a couple they are and how strong and loving their relationship with one another is and i can't do anything but hope that i someday will have a marriage just like theirs! you guys really are an inspirations to me along with my mom and step dads marriage which seems so great to be in for them! In all i've taken this trip to heart and its going to stay close to it FOREVER, i know i will remember it i know i will think of it and i know that i'll always be glad that my senior summer i chose to spend it with my family over friends. And as i go back here in a few days, back to washington, back to my life, back to reality and back to the new somewhat new me i know that i will be moving out in a few weeks, starting my journey as a determined inspired student set out to change our world hopefully just a tiny bit & i look back at everything i've gained this summer, all the friendships or familyships ive got close to this summer and think THANKS its only that i am the strong girl wait woman maybe i am today! I hope you enjoyed this post anybody who really read its cuz its relaly something deep and close to me & i think i will look back on it, forefver. Everybody in this post i love you all so much and you really don't know what you've done and changed for me!! summer 2012, your one to remember. <3